UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Introduction

This is the type of love that is expressed by those who really love each other. The ties of affection go beyond any momentary feelings, good or bad, concerning someone. It is the type of love between parent and child, husband and wife. In the ideal, the unconditional love is both ways. I once knew a man who would sometimes express his love for his father. His father was not someone to love, but he would say, he is still my father.

The scripture in the King James Version speaks of natural affection, Romans 1:31. In the New King James it is simply unloving. But even "natural affection" is love predicated by some type of built in mechanism; it isn't unconditional love.

Note the following story about a love letter from a boy to his cat. From RICHES OF THE HEART, by Steve Goodier via Life Support

LOVE LETTER TO A CAT

A love letter to a cat? Why not? At least Andrew thought it might work. This is an actual love letter written by a boy to his cat.

But before you read the letter, you must understand this about the cat. She is about as affectionate as a cactus. And besides, she goes to great lengths to avoid Andrew. She would rather sleep the day away in one of her many hiding places scattered throughout the boy's house than be near him. And on one of those rare occasions when she makes an appearance, he can forget about touching her. If he never has anything to do with her, that is all right by the cat.

The boy tries his best to be nice. He looks for her, searching the house for an occupied hiding place, and feels abundantly grateful if he should stumble upon his treasure. He is occasionally allowed to stroke her once or twice before she flits off. He even feeds her, hoping to eventually win her confidence and perhaps even a bit of affection. But he is seldom rewarded with anything like attention.

Now that you know something about the cat, whose name is Mehitabel, by the way, what about the love letter? It was found next to the cat's food dish. This is what it said: "To cat (he couldn't spell Mehitabel!): I love you. Before you love me I will love you more. Love, Andrew. Meow!"

The have and have nots

In many homes this type of love is not there from anyone to anyone else. It is possibly love that is learned and not that with which one is born. Possibly it's roots stem from that "natural affection" mentioned earlier. In many marriages this type of love is not there from either party. This love says, "It doesn't matter what you do, I love you still." In a country song, the son comes home drunk and the father tells him that in his house, it's his way or the highway. The son leaves and as he goes out the door, he says, "I hate you." If I remember right, the father says, "My love is unconditional." In the song, the son realizes years later that his father loved him. It's important to note that this love is not without standards. In fact when we compromise our standards, we do not love unconditionally because to keep the love of the one who does wrong we compromise. This makes our love conditioned on having the love of the child, wife or whoever has violated our standards.

Sometimes we hear the words, "We fell out of love." This means that some condition or conditions were not met. Let's consider some things that are conditions of love.

Conditions of love

Returned love - We want our love returned. By worldly standards we are encouraged to get out of relationships where our love is not returned. This isn't what the Bible teaches. There are no conditions placed on the command, "Honor your father and mother" or "If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them." - I Timothy 5:16 There are no restrictions on the command, "Husbands love your wives." Jesus said, "Love your enemies," Matthew 5:44.

Getting things - Parents often buy their children things because they want the child to love them. Many wives and husbands, want things that show the love of their mates. Rings, jewelry, houses, lands, dinner, snacks and a quite house are all things that are sometimes that on which love is conditioned. The following story is told - Author unknown:

The Gold Box -

Some time ago a friend of mine punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put it under their Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found that the box was empty.

He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside of it?"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and again begged her forgiveness.

My friend told me that he kept that gold box by his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

We must see past the expenses, waste and irrational behavior. We have to see past no reciprocal action. There is a difference in giving because we love and giving to get love. So many times we give to get love or at least signs of love.

Jesus said you cannot love God and mammon, Matthew 6:25. Things are not important so we must not love them more than any person. Paul says in Romans 13:8, "Owe no one anything except to love one another."

Devotion - We sometimes want devotion from those we love or those to whom we give things. This devotion includes loyalty and giving of all one's time. Selfish devotion does not allow paying any attention to or noticing anything of anyone else but ourselves. We demand to be the greatest in their eyes. It's a slightly warped sense of love. Parents don't want to hear about the good in other parents. Husbands or wives don't want to hear about another man or woman or how one's father or mother might have done something. Sometimes we need to listen and learn. Our love should not be conditioned on receiving devotion. Husbands must remember that while this may be the ideal, (Paul did say let the wife see that she respect, (reverence) her husband. - Ephesians 5:33) it can be given but not demanded, else it is a worthless offering. Wives likewise are to show respect. Love from the husband is given, it should not be bought or earned.

Sacrifice - We often want the other person, wife, husband, mother, father or child to make sacrifices for us. We may be making sacrifices or we may have made sacrifices. In love we sometimes need to do that. A fitting scripture for all that we have spoken of is I Peter 1:22,

"Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart."

There should be no ulterior motive.

In I John 2:10-11

He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

Where is the condition here. I do not see any condition. If one wants to be in the light, he can be. The light is always there, but the question is always, "Where am I?"

True Love

I John 3:18-19 says:

My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. And by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him.

If we are to love at all, it should not be with conditions. We might not always show our love in the expected or desired way. In another country song the husband asks the wife, "What can I buy you, diamonds, gold, fine things?" The wife answers, "I won't take less than your love." In the song the thought is repeated for others such as mothers and wives.

Love is not words although words are important. The things people have done for me, my parents, my children, my wife, their sacrifices, their devotion, their feelings all leave me amazed and humbled. These speak uncounted volumes of words. Such things I remember.

Have we considered the simplicity of John 3:23:

And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

Luke 6:32-35

But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.

Our love will not leave out the standards. We will take the time, energy and have the patience to insist on what is right. But never forget that is it the standard that is violated and what we take action against. If our love is unconditional, we will not remove our love. We will however insist on what is right and we will not overlook sin in those we love. If we do our love is not what it should be.

God's Love

Now that we have had opportunity to reflect on ourselves, our love our lack of love and now that we have considered the love we expect of others. Let us consider the love of God.

Ephesians 2:4-5
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)

Ephesians 5:25-27
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

Jesus didn't come looking for the righteous, did he? No, he came to save sinners, you and me. Aren't we amazed?

He loves us as sons, Hebrews 12:6-9
For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

Has God chastened you? Rejoice, He loves you. Love does not void the standards.

James 2:5
Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?

God never asked, what can you give me. His teaching is for our good and good in general. His love is always there, do we love Him?

Conclusion

I John 4:7-11
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.